"This is Me"

I have loved musicals since my parents brought me to some anniversary showing of "The Sound of Music" when I was three or four.  I didn't even want to go to the restroom during intermission in case I would miss something.  Musicals like "The Sound of Music" or "The Music Man" were the only exceptions to our "no eating in front of the TV rule."  So, when "The Greatest Showman" came out, I was just as entranced as that three year old me.

Having watched it many times now and played the soundtrack over and over I realized something.  It's not just a musical to me, it is a new anthem.  My story resonated with these characters.  I have always been a Geeky nerd.  I have loved Sci Fi, D&D, and cosplay since I was a kid in the 70s and 80s... long before being a nerd was cool.  I was bullied.  I was teased and made fun of...  I was encouraged to conform, to be more like everyone else.  It would be easier.  It would solve the problems with being an outsider.  Even in the church, well meaning people would suggest that sci fi and D&D would lead me down the wrong road and away from Jesus.  In Seminary my ad visors suggested that I don't mention "certain" hobbies when interviewing at churches, after all, I was going to have enough problems being accepted as a woman pastor.

So, this musical helped me see that my passion over starting Geek Church wasn't just for those friends of mine who were driven out or turned off by the church that didn't understand them.  It was for me, too!  I need to be able to worship as me.  Super Girl is not the costume that hides me from the world, the three piece suit is the real costume.  A Faerie Princess, Superhero or Elf cosplay is more me than the get up I have to wear to Presbytery.  I am more me when I have the temporary pink hair dye and bright blue fingernails then when I wear my power suit.

Jesus accepted people as they were.  He accepted the smelly fishermen, the hated tax collector, the women that society thought were worth nothing, and even Zachaeus the wee little man who climbed a tree to see Jesus.  Jesus accepts as we are; scars, warts, and all.  The guest speaker at Oviedo Pres. last Sunday was brought up in a family that was Hindu, Muslim, and Ba' hai.  He decided that Jesus was the way for him because of the unconditional grace, love, and acceptance that Jesus had for everyone.  God so loved the world, including Geeks, nerds, and shy little girls.

When I have to put on that suit, and pretend I am just an average, normal preacher I now hear,
"I am not a stranger to the dark
Hide away, they say
'Cause we don't want your broken parts
I've learned to be ashamed of all my scars
Run away, they say
No one'll love you as you are"

That is not what the Gospel teaches.  Jesus loves us just the way we are.  We should be able to find the love and wonder of God discussing the theological implications of Star Wars, or The Avengers, or any number of comic books.  I should be able to worship in my Wonder Woman T-shirts and Harley Quinn dresses, because that is who I am.  Being a Cosplaying Geek doesn't mean that I am not a good Christian, doing the best I can to show Christ's love in this world.  Somehow I hope that once Geek church is up and running that I will proudly wear my Super Girl dress to Presbytery meetings.

For now, I think that the chorus of this is me is the perfect anthem for Geeks everywhere, and especially for Geeks of Faith.

"When the sharpest words wanna cut me down

I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me
Look out 'cause here I come
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me"

I hope that Geeks of Faith everywhere will find this truth,  Jesus loves our scars and broken parts.  I pray for a church where everyone can stand up and sing God's praises and still be able to sing "This is me!"

Love and Peace,

Karen