Slow to Speak: When Biting Your Tongue is best

"You must understand this, my beloved; let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger; for your anger does not produce God's righteousness." James 1:12-20

     This is one of the scriptures I will be preaching on Sunday.  I actually had to take my own sermon advice last night.  It was kind of humbling for the teacher to have to learn the lesson, too.

     I have teenage boys.  Even when I do listen, sometimes the tone or the sarcastic way something is said pushes all the wrong buttons.  Last night I asked what I thought was an innocent question.  "How are the college application essays coming?"  The response I got was a frustrated rant on how many essays he had to write for school.  What I heard (as opposed to what he actually said) was "I don't have time for that."

     My first instinct was to go up and yell about priorities and why had he wasted the past three weeks before school started playing video games and hanging out with friends.  I wanted to chuck his X-Box over the balcony rail and disconnect his YouTube account.  Fortunately, I had been working on my sermon earlier in the day and realized that getting angry was really messing with my perspective.  My anger was not producing God's righteousness, and going up there ranting and raving would not have done anything but make my son angry, too.

     So, I took at forty-five minute brisk walk.  I did not speak to him at all before I left.  It gave me time to think things through and calm down a little.  It also gave him time to finish the Language Arts homework that he had been grumbling about.  When I got back I calmly told him we need to talk.  I explained how I was worried about his priorities being out of order.  He explained that he had planned on writing both essays over the long weekend.  Since his homework was done, he worked on outlines for his essays asking for my input.

     James was right, anger would have made the situation much worse.  I thank God that the lectionary had me dealing with this passage this week.  For my son: Being a mother is a lot like being a pastor.  I do the best I can from day to day, not always knowing if I got it right.  For the times I do let anger do my talking for me, I apologize.  I am striving to do better.

   In the Gospel lesson that goes with the sermon Jesus says that it is not what goes into a person that defiles them, but what comes out of their heart.  Reacting in anger defiles.  Taking the time to diffuse the anger and be able to listen made me more compassionate.  That can be important, especially with friends who are on the opposite side politically.  I sense that I will need to memorize and recite this verse from James many times before November.

Blessings!

Non-Random Acts of Kindness

     I saw something today that made me want to stand up and applaud.  It was pouring down rain as I was driving home from the church.  As I came to the intersection at Hwy 67 the traffic slowed to a crawl.  A car was stalled in the busy intersection.  Cars were having to squeeze past it.  The driver was obviously either scared to get out in the rain and the traffic, or was unwilling to abandon the car in the middle of the intersection.

     A Cedar Hill Fire Station Ambulance was going the other way.  These men saw what was going on and pulled over into a bank parking lot and got out of their ambulance.  They donned yellow hazard vests in the pouring rain.  They indicated that traffic should stop.  (Which amazingly it did!)  Then, these three men pushed the car from the intersection to a gas station where the stranded motorist could get help.  As they crossed back I applauded and shouted bravo!  Of course with my windows up and the heavens doing the best to convince us to build an ark, I don't think they heard me.  But if any of you know someone who works at the Cedar Hill Fire Station, let them know that they were noticed doing good!

     All the way home I thought about what they did and it reminded me of those bumper stickers that you used to see, "Commit Random Acts of Kindness."  But this one didn't seem all that random.  I doubt that someone called the fire station and said there is a motorist stuck in an intersection, please come help.  We expect help from Firemen.  They are in the business of helping others.  Shouldn't it be the same for Christians?

     Jesus told us that the two most important commandments were to love God and love our neighbor.  His illustration for who is our neighbor was someone helping a stranger.  Jesus showed compassion to all who needed help or were in pain.  We are called to follow.  Our acts of kindness shouldn't be random.  They should be calculated, intentional, and consistent.  I know that we are sinful human beings and are going to miss lots of opportunities to show kindness to our neighbors, but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't try.  Try practicing purposeful, intentional acts of kindness.  If we really love God then loving our neighbor, whomever they are, should take a top priority in our lives.

Blessings!

All I Need To Know I Learned From "The Sound of Music"

I woke up this morning singing the theme from "The Sound of Music."  This musical holds a special place in my heart.  From the time I was three or four and my parents took me to a special showing in the local movie theater I was in love.  It got me interested in singing and acting.  My favorite doll, I named Liesl.  My first dramatic role was Louisa in a community production, and I can practically quote the whole thing.

So what does this have to do with our faith?  I think I learned a lot of good Christian habits from "The Sound of Music."  So for fun, I thought I would share some of them with you.

First and foremost:  When God closes a door, somewhere He opens a window.  (Thank you, Reverend Mother.)  Another way to look at it is that God's plans for you might not be what you planned, but they will be good.  God might need you to be the mother of seven children more than a nun.

Second, when things look really overwhelming it is OK to say, "Oh Help!"  God promises to hear our prayers and goes with us when we think we have gotten in way over our head.

Third, Music is a proper response for practically anything: fear, joy, sorrow.  It will chase away thunderstorms, make boo boos feel better, and heal sorrow and loss.  Just look at some of the Psalms.  There are happy Psalms of praise, there are angry Psalms, there are Psalms of lament.  If you can't put what you feel into the words of a prayer, try looking to music.  God will understand.

Fourth, and close to my heart, when a child puts frogs in your pocket or spiders in your bed, they may just be looking for someone to love them for who they are.  That was my whole philosophy of Youth Ministry for sixteen years.  Some of those mischievous youth that made me want to pull my hair out have grown into wonderful, mature Christian adults.

Finally, sometimes there are evil forces or people that have to be stood up to.  When the Hitlers of the world say that you have to join them, you must find the strength to say "no."  It may cost you to stand for your beliefs.  There may be mountains to cross.  "Climb every mountain, ford every stream, follow every rainbow, until you find your dream."

May your day be filled with blessings and song!

How Do We Treat Those We Disagree With?

I have gotten pretty upset over the past couple of days because of the whole Chick-fil-a thing.  It is not because of the issue itself!  I have close friends and family on BOTH sides of the debate.  My problem is the really mean and hateful posts that my friends have been putting on their time lines.  Even my clergy friends have not been immune.  They call each other names and post terrible things about their brothers and sisters with whom they disagree.  That is not the Christian way to do things!  No wonder the world thinks Christians are hypocrites or just plain fanatics.  Just because we don't always agree doesn't mean that the person you disagree with is evil or that you can treat them like garbage.  So here are a few thoughts:

1.  We are all sinners.  We all mess up.  We are all wrong some of the time.  Consider how you would want to be treated if you were the one who was wrong.  Do you want to be trashed publicly all over the Internet?  Would you rather have a friend say to you privately, "I hear where you are coming from, but this is what I think..."  When I disagree with someone, I always try to remember that I may be the one in the wrong.  I try to be understanding, forgiving, and gracious.

2.  Have you ever seen anyone change their mind on a topic because they were yelled at and called names?  I haven't.  In fact on divisive topics like same sex marriage you probably won't be able to win over your opponent no matter how kind, intelligent, and beautiful your argument is.  We can't change people's hearts.  Only God can change your heart.  I have changed my view on many controversial topics over the years.  I think it is part of becoming more mature.  But it was not friends arguing with me that changed my mind.  It was prayer and thoughtful study that let God change my heart!

3.  How are we as Christians supposed to treat one another?  First and foremost we are to love our neighbors as ourselves.  In Jesus' illustration of this concept his neighbor, the Samaritan, was not only of a different faith, but he was also from another country with a different government and political climate.  He still acted in compassion and love for his neighbor.  If he can be kind, then surely liberals and conservatives should be able to react to each other in compassion. 

But we are more than just neighbors.  We are brothers and sisters in Christ.  So we are held to a higher standard.  In Matthew 18 Jesus gives us an example of how to reconcile with someone who has sinned against you.  First go talk to the person alone and tell them what is bothering you.  If they refuse to listen... (Note: If they are understanding and listen with an open mind and still disagree it should be over.  Accept it and move on!)  Then, discuss it with them and two or three others.  Even though the next part sounds like a condemnation it isn't.  You are to treat them as a gentile or a tax collector...  How does Jesus treat Gentiles and tax collectors?  He calls them to be disciples, he heals them, he eats with them, and he loves them!

OK so you don't agree on something that you think is vitally important...  You don't have to hang out with them if they are getting on your nerves, but you do need to treat them with compassion, love, and respect.  You must love them as you love yourself.  If one side of the argument HAS to be wrong, remember it might be you.  Be humble.

Our society is becoming so polarized.  It is our duty as Christians to act as an example of how different people can live together in peace.